If you thought your resume was perfect before you sent it out, you might want to check it again. You ran a spell check, right? You read and re-read every single line to make sure you caught what spell check missed? Of course you did! But wait… did you get a few other sets of eyes to look at it as well? While everyone appreciates a bit of humour in their day, and everyone wants their resume to stand out from the crowd, no one wants those two things to come together. Job hunting is hard enough. The last thing you need to worry about is some fantastic resume blunder that not only gets your potential employer’s giggle on, but immediately lands you at the top of the “Forget it” pile.
It happens more often than you might think. In fact, there are entire websites dedicated to the crazy things that people put on their resumes. Check out a few below, and take steps to make sure it never happens to you.
- Hobbies: “Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians” (Resume Hell) – Those are some strange (and illegal) tastes.
- “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse” (Resume Hell) – Um… sure.
- “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.” (Resume Hell) – This is where a dictionary comes in handy.
- Skills: “Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail” (Amy Joyce on Resume Bloopers) – This person makes sure to pay extra extra attention to detail.
- Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving” (Ask Annie) – Auto-correct gone terribly wrong? I hope so.
- “I am great with the pubic.” (Ask Annie) – This one is actually one of the most common — and the most unfortunate. Just one little letter and you’ve painted an entirely different picture.
- “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.” (Ask Annie) – You won’t get this kind of service just anywhere!
- “Revolved customer problems and inquiries.” (ResumePower.com’s Ten Classic Resume Bloopers) – And the issues kept going, and going, and going…
- “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.” (ResumePower.com’s Ten Classic Resume Bloopers) – Just what every employer is looking for.
- “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.” (ResumePower.com’s Ten Classic Resume Bloopers) – Good work, if you can get it.
- “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.” (Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com) – Well, that just seems unfair… And, frankly, a little morbid.
- “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.” (Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com) – And this is why “rarely” was a better choice than “never.”
- “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.” (Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com) – Impressive. Not going to get anyone a job… but impressive.
- Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.” (Resumania) – Hopefully, the job was at a perfume factory.
- Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.” (Resumania) – This person is like a fine wine…
- Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.” (Resumania) – Experienced as a food critic, maybe?
- Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.” (Resumania) – Speaking of food…
- Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.” (Resumania) – Magic 8-Ball says: Unlikely.
- Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.” (Resumania) – But who prepared the parents for the news?
- “I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.” (Resumania) – Define “sloppywork” and “carelessmistakes.”
- Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.” (Resumania) – And more proficient at it than you know.
- Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.” (Resumania) – Freudian slip?
- “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.” (Resumania) – Home to copious amounts of belly button lint.
- Career: “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.” (Resumania) – Another victim of auto-correct? Or maybe a specialist in employee motivation?
- “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.” (ResumePower.com’s Ten Classic Resume Bloopers) – There were either some extreme processes here, or some very delicate — and potentially uncomfortable — storage issues to overcome.
If you read between the lines, some of these resumes were by people who probably would have done very well at the job they were applying for. It might be they were too close to the final product, or too stressed about their job search to see the mistakes that were right in front of them. It could happen to anyone — even you — so make sure that you, and as many people as you can get, read your resume over and over again. With a magnifying glass. Maybe a microscope. After all, that’s your life on there.
What are some of your biggest resume blunders?
Source – 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes | JobMob
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